Saturday, April 18, 2009

I'm so glad....

we mere humans require sleep. We are forced to lay down reboot and start over. Most days I don't give it a second thought. After today. I'm praying tomorrow is a fresh new day!

Here's how my day went according to the red flags that kept screaming this is gonna get ugly .

Red Flag #1
8am!!!! Woke up = me not happy. 4 hours of sleep from Ambien which requires 8 or more.

Red Flag #2
830 all 3 kids who normally sleep till at least 10:30 - 11:00 awake!

I'm hanging in there. We home school but not on Fridays. We opted to home school year round Mon-Thur. So I knew I didn't have that to deal with. Doing real well till red flag #3 showed up.

Red Flag #3
Oh look Mommy has a visitor. It's a friend who never visits often and mom is pissed about her the whole time she's here. She hasn't show en up in over 18 months WHY NOW!!

Red Flag #4
Cue in the fighting. Nicholas and Ayden decide to have an all out war over this hat. Nothing special about this hat other that both of them want it.

Ayden: I had it first I was wearing it and Nick took it.

Me: Ayden I'm in arms reach no need to make my drums bleed

Nick: Well Daddy told me I could have the hat so its mine.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ in the recliner no clue any of this drama was coming down around him.

Me: Nick lets let Ayden wear the hat while he looks for his black hat that daddy wore for Halloween. You know Ayden the one that looks sooo cute on you.

Ayden: I don't want that hat. I want this one.

Silence : Both are looking at me waiting for my all mighty call. I don't have a freak en clue.

Me : Boys can't you come to an agreement between yourselves about the hat. Trying something us crazy folk call Sharing!

Daddy ( he's awake! sweet I can duck out and let him have this one. Wrong I know but was my best option) "What's going on."

Both Boys- I had the hat he took the hat you gave me the hat so I want to wear the hate.

Daddy- Who owns the hat?

Nick- I do! You gave it to me.

Daddy- Well since your the owner I think you need to allow Ayden to wear the hat for a bit then he will return it to you.

Nick- Fine!! But I don't want him wearing my hat.

Daddy- It's ended Nick no more

Nick--blah blah blah and more blah blah blah

Daddy - WHAM! (this caught my attention and Nick and Aydens as well. Now its suddenly "hat what hat I don't want no hat").

Me enters kitchen to find

wait for it

wait for it

a exploded spit bottle ( you know people dip or chew snuff spit in) and my kitchen COVERED in what you guessed it SPIT!!!!

Now quick note. a) I am known for my quick temper. b) my husband is known for having patience of JOB! C) I have been known to exaggerate, in this case it wasn't needed.

Now let me add that my home is by far spotless. You might at any given moment trip and cause bodily harm trying to get thru the toy parade. Cluttered-toys everywhere- laundry running over we are. Nasty germs and bugs moving on in to stay and live we ain't! So the thought of spit dripping off the ceiling, my curtain, cabinets, stove, kitchen utensils that sit out in the open, and the floor brought me to a strange, strange place I've never been before.

Speechless. Total Shock and utter speechlessness! I just stood and looked and looked some more. My hubby of course jumped into Mr. Cleans panties and went to work. While I stood and watched. Then I started laughing and I could not make it stop. So in the middle of my hysteria I do manage to utter the words "If you ever do this again...your going to die". And I left to go suck on my inhaler .

Ps. When I went back into the kitchen, slammer had cleaned it. Well enough for most men. Wipe it off it's clean. I instantly noticed the
lack of wet towels and empty bleach cleaners sitting around. So i know I'm going to be scrubbing that kitchen from top to bottom to "clean" it.

PPS- I wrote this last night after my sleeping pill had started to kick in. It shows.